How to Escape Your Summer Camp
by the hotpocket hunter
Summary: Ichigo and Shiro are twins, with the worst case of dependency their friends have ever see. When their father decides they need to be split up, Ichigo is shipped across the country to a camp for problem children. Can he make it without his older twin? And who thought it was a good idea to let the narcoleptic drive? T for swearing. Nothing else yet.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) This is the latest idea to catch my fancy, will never be abandoned, and may draw some paralells with other stories I haven't fully written yet because the plotbunnies are very picky this season. Updates for all stories will be sporadic, probably not happen on weekends(my parents will be home and like to use the computer), and mostly go to whatever is most popular or most enjoyable for me to write. On one of my stories I wrote that i don't update without reviews. I wanted to clarify: If you don't review, it makes me think no one is reading or no one is enjoying the story. If no one likes it, There's no point in spending time typing it when i could be working on something else you guys actually like. I love all my reviewers, Haven't figured out exactly how to message you back, but it makes my day every time my ipod pings from somehting you guys said. I feel all warm inside~

Chapter 1

"Shiro," Ichigo whispered sadly, leaning against the car window as raindrops spattered against it.

_Flashback_

_"I WILL SEE YOU LATER MY DARLING SON!" shouted Isshin as Shiro hurried out the door. Ichigo tried to go after his twin, but was dragged back into the living room by his father._

_"Oy! What gives, old man?" snapped Ichigo._

_"My darling younger son, I only wish to bond with you further! Come to your beloved Daddy!"_

_"Not a chance!"_

_"Sit down, Ichigo," ordered Isshin, suddenly serious. "I need to talk to you."_

_Ichigo froze, surprise evident on his face, before seating himself on the couch. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly._

_Isshin sighed, deciding to get straight to the point. "I'm sending you to camp."_

_"W-what?" stammered Ichigo._

_"You and Shiro are closer than you should be. I've waited a long time, thinking you'd eventually go your own ways, but it's not happening. You rely on Shiro for protection, and he can't keep his temper in check without you around. This is for your own good. You'll be spending the rest of the school year and summer break in California."_

_"W-without S-Shiro?" gasped the orangette, eyes wide with fear. "No! You can't make me!"_

_Isshin frowned. "It's for your own good," he repeated. "You need to be able to fend for yourself, and Shiro needs to learn some self-control."_

_"No! I can't! I'll die without Shiro!" the younger twin cried._

_"Now you're just being over-dramatic," admonished Isshin. "You're not going to die without him. It's only a year."_

_"Only a year?" shrieked Ichigo. "I need him! I can't leave! He needs me too! How can you do this to us! I thought you loved us! I thought you loved me!"_

_Isshin flinched at that. "I can because I'm your father. And I do love you, but-"_

_"Let me guess," hissed Ichigo. "It's for our own good? It's not! We'll both me miserable and nothing you do will make me stop needing Shiro! He's my other half! Why can't you see that?"_

_Isshin narrowed his eyes. "I've seen plenty. It's unnatural for brothers to be that close, and I'm separating you. End of story. You'll be thanking me after."_

_"Like hell! You won't get anything from me but resentment!" snapped back the orangette furiously. "You're going to kill me!"_

_"Stop," commanded Isshin, "being so dramatic. It's not going to kill you, and you're going."_

_"Why should I?" he retorted._

_"Because I said so," commanded his father in a warning tone._

_Ichigo growled lowly. "No! No way! Zip, zilch, nada, nein! I'm not going!"_

_"Yes you are!" Isshin barked back. "And don't say I can't make you, because I can and I will!"_

_Ichigo shrunk back in his seat, startled by the suddenly harsh tone. "N-no," he whispered. "I'm not doing that to Shiro."_

_"You don't have a choice. You're things are already packed, and out in the car waiting."_

_"I don't wanna!"_

_"You're going, NOW!"_

_The orangette quivered slightly, before standing up slowly. "No."_

_Isshin lunged to his feet. "I told you you're going! Get in the car now!"_

_"No."_

_Isshin grabbed Ichigo by the arm, ignoring his startled cry of pain and dragging the struggling teen out of the house. He growled in anger as he threw the smaller male into the back seat of the car, slamming the door shut before he could get out. "Stay put," he snarled._

_Ichigo shook slightly, eyes filling with tears as he curled up in the back of the car. His father never yelled at him, let alone handled him so roughly. Ignoring the seat belt, he pulled his small back pack into his lap, hugging it to his chest as the car sped down the road, his father mumbling angrily in the front seat._

_End Flashback_

He didn't say a word during the drive, nor the walk to the plane, clinging to his ticket quietly as he ignored Isshin.

When it came time to part ways, he didn't say goodbye, nor did he look back, not even when his father tried to get a response from him. At the top of the ladder, he paused, looking back at the man whose house he'd lived in all his life. He couldn't even say that his father had been the one who raised him. His uncle on his mother's side and his wife had done that after his mother had died. He thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I'm not going to forgive you."

He turned back and boarded the plane, never seeing Isshin's affronted expression. As he curled up in his airplane seat, he thought to himself, imagining a conversation with his older brother.

_Should I have done that?_

**Heck yeah! The guy deserved it! Ya tried talkin' ta him, he didn' listen! It's his fault yer upset! Ya shoulda decked 'im!**

He smiled slightly at his imagined Shiro's response. He shouldn't have even thought about it. Shiro thought everything was justified in protecting his 'baby bro', willing to go to any length for his other half's happiness.

He sighed. He missed his brother already._ How am I going to survive without him?_

* * *

Ichigo glanced around nervously, tightening his grip on his backpack. Where are they? There's supposed to be someone here to pick me up! He kept looking, searching the crowd. He let out a small hum of worry, chewing his thumbnail.

"Excuse me."

Ichigo jumped violently, gasping slightly as he whipped around.

"I apologize. It was not my intention to alarm you," offered a pale teenager with raven hair and emerald eyes.

Ichigo paused before speaking, curiously eyeing the new male's green tear streak tattoos. "It's not your fault," he replied, shaking his head. "You just came up on my blind side."

"Blind side?" questioned the Goth teen.

"Yeah, I'm actually blind on my left side," elaborated Ichigo. "Still getting used to it. See how it's orange instead of brown?"

"I...see. I will keep that in mind during our future interactions."

"Future interactions?" asked Ichigo.

"You are a student at the camp, correct?" he asked.

"Um, actually yes. Do you know where we're supposed to meet?" Ichigo added.

"Yes. I actually approached you on the assumption that you did not. You seemed distressed," he explained.

Ichigo nodded, returning to chewing his thumbnail. He thought this new male seemed like a good person, but he was worried about making a judgement without his older brother around to back him up if he was wrong. What if he's not as nice as he seems?

"My name is Ulquiorra Schiffer," offered the same monotone.

"Um... Ichigo, Ichigo Kurosaki."

Ulquiorra seemed to pick up on the more slender male's agitation. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," was the quiet answer.

Ulquiorra looked at him for a moment before gently taking him by the hand and leading him over to the group.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back my minions! I'll try to update quickly, this chappy is short because of chores.

Chapter 2

Ulquiorra pulled Ichigo along, noticing his jumpiness and doing his best to keep space between him and the rest of the crowd. This was a camp for problem children, a.k.a. delinquents and kids whose rich parents didn't have time for them. It wasn't surprising that the orangette had some kind of problem. Perhaps it was some kind of trauma or emotional disorder.

His efforts were made null when, with a startled cry, Ichigo tumbled to the pavement, hand tearing from the small Goth's.

"Ow..." Ichigo sat up carefully, pulling his legs beneath him. Flinching, he examined his bloodied palms. Though not deep, the cuts stung and burned, and his hands were bruised from the impact.

"Crap, sorry, you alright?" asked a rough voice.

Ichigo nearly shivered at the sound of it, not at all unpleasant. Looking up, he was caught by vivid cyan eyes, startling him into silence at thier proximity.

"...um, yeah, thanks."

The larger male sighed in relief beofre carefully helping him to his feet, avoiding his injured hands.

Ulquiorra sighed. "Barbaric as usual, Grimmjow."

"Oy!" snapped the bluenet. "I said I was sorry!"

Ulquiorra shook his head and took the orangette's hands in his own gently, asessing the damage. "Does it hurt?"

Ichigo shook his head. "Stings a little, but I've had a lot worse."

Ulquiorra eyed him calculatingly before relenting. "We need to board the bus now, but I will tend to your injuries on the way to camp."

He noticed the orangette's slight flinch at the word 'camp' but shrugged it off. None of them wanted to be here, so it was normal.

"Thank you." The expression of gratitude was quiet, barely audible, but Ulquiorra understood that Ichigo wasn't just thanking him for the assistance with his injuries.

Ulquiorra blinked slightly in acknowledgement before turning to lead the way to the bus, giving Ichigo a perfect view of his emo-panda backpack. He followed the raven-haired male obediently.

Grimmjow narrowed his eyes in confusion as the two walked away before hurrying after them. Something was off about the orangette and he aimed to find out what. He prowled around the smaller male, glaring at anyone who got to close. Or looked at him. Or was within glaring range.

* * *

Ulquiorra smoothed salve over Ichigo's stinging palms carefully. The 'bus' had turned out to be a fully-furnished RV, not that Ichigo was complaining. It really was full of obscenely rich kids. He wondered absently if it cost a lot and how his father could have paid for it. He was pulled back to reality by Ulquiorra finishing with the bandages.

"Thank you," Ichigo murmured, carefully inspecting the work. He was perfectly capable of holding his own in a fight if he had to, but that didn't make him immune to pain.

Grimmjow sauntered over, ignoring the couple of girls trying to flirt with him as he returned to his spot beside Ulquiorra.

"How ya doing?"

Ichigo blinked in surprise. "Fine. It's not really that bad."

"That's not what I meant."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes warily. "Then what did you mean?"

"All of us are problem kids," he explained. "Our parents get tired of us and ship us off for as long as they can get rid of us. Some of us couldn't care less, others like getting away from their parents, and some kids get homesick. I figured you were part of the third group."

Ichigo sighed. "I miss my brother." _And my sisters_, he added guiltily.

"Just your brother?" asked Ulquiorra curiously.

"My sisters, too. Don't really care about the house, and Isshin is sure as hell gonna get it when I get back." His eyes glittered viciously.

"Isshin?" questioned Ulquiorra, blinking.

"My old man. I'm disowning him for this," Ichigo explained, his voice an odd mix of hurt and sadistic glee.

"Don't ya think tha's a little overkill?" rasped a voice from behind him. Evidently he'd been eavesdropping.

Ichigo glared at him defiantly. "Hell no. He split me up from my twin. He's not getting away with that, beanpole."

"Who ya callin' beanpole?" the tall, raven-haired male retorted.

"Seeing as you're tall enough to block my view of most of the bus, it stands to reason I would be adressing you, doesn't it?" Ichigo returned calmly.

Grimmjow cackled. "Give it up Nnoi, I think this one's gonna be a spitfire once he gets settled in."

Ichigo flinched almost unnoticeably. He'd try this camp thing for a while, and if he couldn't do it... If _Shiro_ couldn't do it (he could always tell what his brother was feeling), well then... He had an extremely Shiro-like plan.

Grimmjow noted the sadistic look on his face and edged away warily. This was one kid he didn't want to get on the wrong side of, and if he met Gin... He crossed his heart and offered a quick prayer. He may not have believed in God, but he was going to need all the help he could get.


	3. Chapter 3

Ichigo looked around, stretching his arms above his head. After stepping off the bus, he'd immediately been confronted with a spacious camp with actual cabins. With the RV and all, Ichigo had almost expected some kind of hotel instead of actual cabins.

He eyed a pair of whispering girls warily, and stepped forward, walking over to the group of people standing around the office. Slipping past them, he read the cabin listings.

A-

Nelliel Tu Odelshvank

Tia Hallibel

Mila Rose Franceska

Sung-Sun Cyan

Apachi Emilou

B-

Grimmjow Jaggerjaques

Nnoitra Gilga

Yammy Llargo

Renji Abarai

Ikkaku Madarame

(Apparently the camp counsellors thought it was a good idea to keep all the destructive ones in the same general area.)

C-

Ulquiorra Schiffer

Coyote Stark

Lilinette Gingerback(The only girl allowed in an all guys cabin, if only because she scared the counsellors.)

Gin Ichimaru

Ichigo Kurosaki

Syazel Apporo

(Grimmjow shuddered as he read this listing.)

D- Byakuya Kuchiki

Rukia Kuchiki

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Izuru Kira

Yumichika ?

Ichigo blinked curiously, pleased that he would be sharing a cabin with Ulquiorra. However, the name Gin Ichimaru seemeed familiar... He just couldn't put his ifnger on it, but he knew that name... "No way." He gasped.

_Flashback_

**"Hey Ichi! 'm goin' ta see Gin!**

_Switch._

**"Ne, Strawberry-chan, where's you're brother?"**

_Switch._

**"An' then we tied him ta a pole!"**

_Flashback over._

"What's wrong?" asked Ulquiorra.

Ichigo smiled. "Nothing, just didn't expect Gin-nii-san to be here. It explains where he disappears to every summer."

Grimmjow twitched. "Nii...san?"

"He's dating my big brother Shiro," Ichigo explained, smile falling.

Ulquiorra distracted him successfully. "Shall I show you our cabin?"

Ichigo grinned again. "Yeah! If I'm going to turn this place upside-down, I'll need a base of operations."

Grimmjow groaned. "We're doomed."

Ichigo just linked arms with Ulquiorra and allowed himself to be lead to the cabin. However, the smirk never left his face.

* * *

Laughing, Ichigo threw himself down on his bed, a top bunk just underneath the window. Upon seeing the perfect escape route(which he was sure he would need), he'd promptly claimed the bunk and thrown his backpack into it. Curling up on the bed, he observed his cabinmates.

Lilinette, he guessed, was the loud, violent girl pummeling a tall, brown-haired man, who didn't even shift in his sleep. He'd learned from Lilinette's yelling that the man's name was Stark, and he felt compeled to add to his notes that he seemed very laid back.

Syazel had pink hair, which Ichigo found funny, but the male was very polite and friendly, and not anywhere near as creepy as his brother's boyfriend. (Gin.)

Though creepy, Ichigo still found Gin an incredible source of entertainment, and as he'd already met Ulquiorra, he enjoyed his cabin assignment greatly.

He couldn't wait to raise some serious hell.

* * *

Ichigo glared at the Head Counselor currently giving the greeting speech, slowly wrapping his fingers around the handle of a butterknife beside him.

Though a whole bunch of fancy words were used, the speech basically meant that they didn't know what was good for them and would have no choice in any matters, important or not. Several degrading comments had been slipped into the spiel, and Ichigo was, in a word, pissed.

Ichigo rule number one: Never tell our dear Strawberry-chan what to do.

Rule number two: Do not anger Strawberry-chan.

Rule number three: Perverts will be kil- wait, wrong rule.

Rule number five: Do not insult Strawberry-chan, or the people Strawberry-chan likes. It will not end well for you.

Rule one, two, and five were being simultaneously broken. Retribution was in order.

With a quick flick of the wrist, the butter knife was embedded in the wall beside the Head's head.

"Wh-wha..." he stammered, eyes wide with fear.

Ichigo smiled up at him. "I'd like to remind you that I am neither mentally unstable nor entirely incompetent. You shouldn't insult us so much; this place is supposed to help people with phsycological problems, and I'd hate to have to report emotional abuse of patients."

He beamed innocently. (Read: evilly)

"Why- Why you little-"

"Little what?" snarled Gin from the other end of the table. "Tha's ma bitch's baby bro. Ah wouldn' recommend messin' with him."

The man gulped, then snapped. "Solitary for both of you! Threatening a counselor is unacceptable!"

As one of the guards grabbed Ichigo by the wrist, said orangette merely kneed him in the balls. "Shiro-nii isn't going to be happy about this."

Two guards lunged for him, but he dispatched them quickly and climbed the drapes. Sitting in the windowsill, he started to throw random decorations at the guards.

* * *

In the end, it took a ladder, two hours, ten guards, and a lot of medical supplies to get Ichigo into one of the solitary cabins.

He escaped in less than an hour, using another butterknife that he'd stolen to unscrew and completely remove the latch on the window, then climbing out of said window.

Gin also got himself out, but only smiled creepily when asked how.

Imagine Ulquiorra's surprise when his timid companion made it back to the cabin, even before Gin!

Pulling out his laptop, he began to scheme.

* * *

Ichigo's face was completely blank as he sat in an uncomfortable folding chair in a therapist's office. Apparently therapy was part of the package deal, and Ichigo was no exception.

The obnoxiously cheerful woman in front of him continued to babble. "Now, sweetie, the first step to getting better is to admit you have a problem."

"I don't have a problem. I love my brother, and I don't want to be separated from him. You people are annoying and stupid." Ichigo recited the facts emotionlessly.

The woman gasped. "How rude!"

"Lady, I'm being told there's something wrong with me for loving my brother. It's not even incest or anything weird like that, so forgive me if I'm a little mad."

The woman gaped at him.

Ichigo stood up. "Bye. See you never."

As he walked out of the office, he couldn't help but sigh. Shiro...

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Ulquiorra doubtfully.

"Of course!" cheered Ichigo, stuffing things into his pockets. "I'm not allowed out of the cabin, so I need to be able to entertain myself."

"And stealing back your Gameboy accomplishes that?" Ulquiorra guessed.

"Silly Ulqui," joked Ichigo, shaking his head in mock despair. "I'm going to steal a lot more than my Gameboy! But I'll only take a couple things at a time, and I'll hide them somewhere in the woods."

Ulquiorra stared at him blankly. "In the woods."

"That's the plan."

"Won't they be ruined?"

Ichigo chuckled. "Nope. All the hours I've been supposedly in solitary I've been sneaking out into the woods to finish my work."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"It's a treehouse," he explained. "Nothing too fancy, but it's got insulation and camoflauge and you can'e see it from the outside and-"

"Slow down, please, Ichigo."

"Okay... So, it's like woven out of tree branches, insulating fluff from that new cabin their building, and random scraps of garbage. And the outer most layer is mud and leaves, so it's pretty much invisible."

Ulquiorra just blinked at him.

"I have a lot of free time on my hands, and this is instrumental to my plot to get out of this place and back to my brother."

"*Sigh* If you say so."

* * *

Next time, Ichigo pulls off a theft and group bonding goes horribly wrong. (Courtesy of Ichigo.)


	4. Chapter 4

Oh, my lovelies, I'm so terribly sorry it's been so long! I've been writing a lot, just not anything that actually could be a complete story. Anyway, I'm feeling under the weather as I type/write this, so I'll try my best anyway.

Okay, working on this again after like a week and a half. I'm seriously high on OBSCENE amounts of chocolate and freedom, sitting in my best friend's bed, thinking that I somehow need to thank her for being so awesome.

Hey, anyone got any cute oneshot ideas? Any series is fine, i've seen/read a lot. I'm on a quest for more inspiration.

I dedicate this chapter to Accomplice, who is my bestest friend.

Chapter 4

* * *

Ichigo stared at the therapist. "You can _not_ be serious."

"Of course I am!" snapped the woman. "I'm in charge of your recovery."

Ichigo laughed in her face. "Ha, that would only count if there was actually something wrong with me."

The woman looked down her nose at him, and whipped out a file. "Kurosaki, Ichigo. Admitted to camp for debilitating dependency and an unhealthy relationship with your brother," she sneered. "Oh, a relationship? Incest, maybe?"

Ichigo tipped his head to the side and gazed at her in wonder. "Wow. You're really stupid."

Even Ulquiorra couldn't help but snort at the shocked and innocent-but-not-quite tone he used.

The woman, flustered, stammered as she tried to find an appropriate insult. "You unnatural little-"

Splat.

A banana peel stuck to her face.

"I'll be thankin' ya not ta insult mah bitch's brother," warned Gin, peeling another banana. The woman just looked at him, gob-smacked.

Ichigo laughed, and started juggling some oranges. The rest of the class just stared as Lilynette started adding more oranges.

Slowly, Ichigo stood on his chair.

Approximately one circus routine, five guards, and forty-five minutes later, the therapist was now being recommended to one of her colleagues, and the class was standing out in the woods.

"Okay kids," tried a counselor. "We're going to do a group bonding game. Partner up."

Grimmjow went to stand with Nel, understandably wary of the identical creepy smiles Ichigo and Gin were sporting.

"Alright, now, one of you leans back until they fall, and the other catches them."

An eerie wail went up, and Ichigo spun, hand clasped to his heart dramatically as he collapsed into Gin's arms. "Gah! They got me!"

Gin played along. "Oh, tell me it isn't so!"

"My love," Ichigo gasped, cupping Gin's face with one hand. "Go on without me."

"I cannot! You are the love of my life, the most beautiful being I have ever seen. Do not ask me to leave you at the end."

"But you must!"

This was the point when all hell broke loose.

Lilynette kicked Gin in the head. "HEY! YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME SICK WITH YOUR LOVEY-DOVEY SHIT!"

Ichigo flopped to the ground, laughing.

Gin leapt back up to his feet and started to run circles around the camp as Lilynette chased him, shouting obscenities in long strings that didn't even make any sense in context. (Ulquiorra expected it was just for his own entertainment.)

In any case, Ichigo was in serious need of oxygen, and the counselor was trying to stop Gin and Lilynette. This was, of course, a futile attempt, not to mention a very bad idea. The poor soul was soon kneed in the balls when he made the mistake of grabbing Lilynette's shoulder.

Ichigo just started laughing even harder, making weak, wheezing gasps for air between peals of laughter.

Ulquiorra twitched, annoyed by the fact Gin and Lilynette were making so much noise. He'd had a headache since he woke up, and he'd gotten his favorite laptop confiscated for antisocial behavior. He had several others, but his favorite was now in a vault in the administration building, and he hadn't had a chance to steal it back yet. Thus, Ulquiorra was in a very, very, bad mood.

Wham!

Ichigo choked as Ulquiorra clothes-lined Gin with a laptop, slamming the flat of it into his face. He went after Lilynette then, who screamed, which angered him further. The chase began all over again. Just with different people.

Stark decided to take a nap. This was all very amusing, but kind of monotonous after the last week. Apparently having Ichigo around and/or in close proximity with Gin basically meant anything that could go wrong, would go wrong, but in the most spectacularly, unexpectedly, unrealistically, insane way possible. Half the things Ichigo did, Stark didn't think were even possible. Maybe Ichigo could even bend the laws of physics. Who knew?

* * *

"Alright everyone," started the instructor, looking around at everyone's 'smiling faces'. (Clearly the poor woman was delusional.)

She clapped her hands together cheerily. "Sit down, and let's get started!"

The chatter died down, and everyone took their seats. Partial cooperation was a requirement. (Anything more, and it was just used to manipulate the counselors. )

"Okay, we're going to go clock-wise," the woman announced cheerily. "When it's you turn, I want you to introduce yourself and tell us why you're here. The first step to getting better is to admit you have a problem!"

Unforutnately, she didn't notice ichigo's very evil grin. Poor unobservant thing. A tragedy, really.

Right.

Ulquiorra started it off. "Ulquiorra Schiffer," he announced in an emotionless monotone. "My parents had nowhere else to leave me for their vacation."

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. My old man is an asshole," Grimmjow declared.

"Nnoitra Jiruga. Foster famly got sick of me real quick."

"Nelliel tu Odelschvank. Grimmy's my big brother, so I go with him."

"Tia Hallibel. Same as ulquiorra." Her tone was flat and just as emotionless (perhaps even mroe so) as ulquiorra's.

"Coyote Stark. I'm a narc..." his head dropped onto his chest before he could finish, and he let out a soft snore.

"Syazel Apporo Granz," greeted the pink-haired male. "It's a pleasure to meet you all. My blood relations find my love of the sciences a tad perturbing."

"Lilynette Gingerback," the girl grumbled. "I'm Stark's cousin, so I'm stuck with the lazy bastard.""

"Gin Ichimaru," the silver-haired fox said, far too happily for anyone's good. "I smile to much."

Everyone just sort of looked at him then, and if they scooted thier chairs a little faither away, who could blame them?

"Mila Rose Franceska. I got left here," she shrugged off.

"Sung-sun Cyan. I'm afriad I'm in the same situation as my dear cousin."

"Apachi Emilou. Apparently hating stupid people makes me a sociopath."

"Yammy Llargo. Anger management. Bulshit if you ask me," he growled, cracking his knuckles.

"Renji Abarai. Um, a lack of self-pereservation instincts?" he read off the nametag, shruggin.

"ikaku Madarame. I love fighting." He cracked a huge grin.

"Byakuya Kuchiki. I am looking after my younger sister."

"Rukia Kuchiki. I apparently suffer from an inferiority complex."

"I-Izuru Kira," he stuttered. "Social anxiety."

Ichigo liked the blonde instantly.

"Toshiro Hitsugaya," the youngest male in the room drawled. ""Supposedly, I'm supposed to be curing my antisocial behaviour by minlging with others my age, but as Ms. Gingerback is the only one even cllose, that's obviously not going to happen."

Ichigo marked Toshiro up as one of those misunderstood child prodigies, and resolved to ask him for help in his heists.

"Yumichika," twittered the- male? airily.

Ichigo just stared at the male sitting next to him for a long moment before introducing himself.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, serial killer."

There was a disturbed silence.

Ulquiorra's mouth twitched up at the edges as he caught on.

"O-okay then," stammered the startled woman. "L-let's try another game. When the ball gets thrown to you, catch it and tell us something about yourself. Throw it to whoever you want, it's more fun that way." She was still pale, but recovering.

She passed the ball to Syazel, who winked at Ichigo. "I would be positively delighted to dissect you and use you in my experiments, Ms. Summers," he flattered, smiling creepily.

The woman turned white as a sheet, but, unfortunately for her, the ball was headed towards ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra was smiling.

"I once hacked the American Pentagon and made them watch funny cat videos for a solid 24 hours."

It only got worse from their.

"I'm the reincarnation of a Death God."

"I'm the princess of a noble family."

"Ms. Summers, I am your father." The fact that Nelliel was both female and younger than Ms. Summers made it all the more disturbing.

"I enjoy kicking puppies."

"I write depressing poetry."

"I'm a vampire."

"I'm a werewolf, and Lilynette and I are star-crossed lovers from a past life," Toshiro suggested wickedly.

The mentioned girl snickered along with him.

Stark blinked slowly, somehow catching the ball without really moving. "I'm... Going back to sleep," he decided. "Don't pass me the ball again."

After a few more rounds, the counselor couldn't take it anymore.

"Th-that's enough. We're going to sing next, to improve your sense of community."

Ichigo twitched. No way in hell was he singing a friendship song.

"Holy shit!" He yelled, pointing out the window, away from the door. "It's the rare and elusive flying ratfish!"

Ms. Summers couldn't help it. She turned to look. "I don't see anything."

A loud slam made her whip back around. "Hey, where did everybody go?"

* * *

Ichigo crept through the dark, humming the Mission Impossible theme song under his breath for that extra 10% of sneakiness. he slipped behind the building, then hopped up a little to grab the windowsill. He shifted his gloved hands to even out his grip, then pulled himself up.

Smirking, he pulled the bobby pin he'd borrowed from Sung-sun out of his hair(In his defense, it was a really good way to keep trakc of something so small and losable.)

The black cap mashed onto his head only added to the fun as he crouched in the sill. Ichigo made quick work of the padlock in the window.

Next, he pulled the window up and open, and slipped thgouh, dropping to the ground with no more sound than a soft, muffled thump.

Grinning, he padded over to the toiletries section of the camp store. the first thing he grabbed was toilet apaper, half a dozen rolls to be exact. Just enough to cover a large statue. Heheheh...

Next was two sponges and a candy bar, and a pocket knige with all of the attachments but the kife and another candy bar, then another half a dozen, this time of smalle plastic flashlights, and apack of batteries to go into them. The money at the cash register was less than a hundred bucks, but anything helped in Ichigo's master plan.

A six pack of cokes and 2 refillable water bottles went in next, accompanied by a small, portable water filter. 2 boxes of cookies, some beef jerkey, a large bag of trailmix, and some granola bars went in next, in the largest pocket on top of the cokes. The wire, intended for arts and crafts, was snatched up as soon as it was spotted, as were the pair of rubber, insulated gloves- rarther fancy for gardening, irght?A snap decision garnered a handuful of sunglasse.

Ichigo looked around them, please with his... Acquisitions, and headed back out the window, locking it behind him. He headed out to his treehouse next, to stash the full backpack and grab the empty one before heading for the administration building. Ichiog stalked through the silent camp, grinning wolfishly as he approached his next vic- er, target. Brown eyes were bright with mischief as he tiptoed past the sleeping watchman.

Oh, this heist would be glorious.

Ichigo made it to the window with ease, climbed up, and got ready to pick the lock, but was delayed by the security system.

"Crap," he hissed.

Careful fingers disarmed the device relatively quickly, but had Ichigo not spotted the sheen of the wire-covers, he would have set off the alarm. And that would wreck his reputation, not to mention damage his ego. "Ulquiorra," he whispered into his walkie-talkie. "Loop the cameras, I've got the window free."

"...Alright, cameras looping."

"Thanks Ulquiorra," Ichigo returned, ending the call.

He dropped to the floor, happy he'd thought to ear gloves when he spotted the safe.

"Bingo."

He laid a gloved hand against the cool metal, twirling the dial with his other hand nad leaning in close to listen to the tumblers click.

To his credit, the safe only took him about 5 minutes to crack. He snickered uncontrollably as he leaned in.

The first thing to go into his pack was the small but disturbingly decked out laptop sitting on the floor of the safe. Next was the half a dozen cellphones of various colors and models, then a Nintendo, his Gameboy, a real knife, and a net-book.

Ichigo didn't take any of the scissors, sitting in a massive, multicolored heap, but took a picture of it with one of the phones and sent it to himself.

Done with his fun for the night, he closed up the safe, left through the window, and stashed the backpack in his 'lair', as he had started to fondly refer to it as. He headed straight back to his cabin to sleep after that.

It was, after all, three in the morning.


End file.
